Finding out you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting it can bring a wave of emotions—uncertainty, anxiety, and fear about how the people closest to you will react. Telling your partner and family may feel like one of the hardest steps, especially if you’re unsure of their response. 

While you can’t control their reaction, you can prepare for the conversation in a way that helps you feel more confident and in control.

Give Yourself Time to Process

Before sharing the news, take a moment to process your emotions. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers yet. You may still be sorting through your thoughts, and that’s completely normal. Taking time to explore your options—parenting, adoption, or abortion—can help you feel more prepared for the conversations ahead.

If you feel overwhelmed, talk through your thoughts with someone you trust, like a close friend, mentor, or support organization (such as us at Anderson House). Writing down your feelings in your phone or recording a voice memo to yourself can also help organize your thoughts.

It’s worth considering making these two separate conversations. You don’t want your partner to feel cornered or blindsided. You also don’t want your parents to focus all their attention on your partner.

Talking With Your Partner

Your partner may be just as surprised as you were when you first found out. If you’re unsure how he’ll react, consider how he typically handles unexpected situations. Does he need time to think things over? Does he tend to react emotionally at first but calm down later?

Choose a setting where you can talk openly without distractions, such as during a walk outside or sitting together in a quiet place. If saying the words out loud feels too overwhelming, starting with a text like, “I have something really important to talk about, and I want us to have an open and honest conversation about it,” can help set the stage before meeting in person.

If you’re worried about how he will respond, consider bringing a friend along or having the conversation in a public but quiet space, like a park or coffee shop, where emotions are less likely to escalate.

Talking to Your Parents

Telling your parents or other family members might feel even more intimidating, especially if you’re unsure how they’ll react. You may be worried about their disappointment, concern, or even anger. However, many parents come around after the initial shock, especially when they realize you’re coming for support.

Choosing how to tell them can make a difference. If speaking face-to-face feels too daunting, calling them on the phone first may give them space to process before seeing you in person. If you’re especially anxious, asking a trusted sibling, aunt, or friend to be there for support can help make the conversation feel less overwhelming.

Some women find that easing into the conversation helps: starting with a different life update—like talking about school, work, or something personal—before transitioning into sharing the pregnancy news. Others prefer to be direct, saying something as simple as, “I have something big to tell you, and I really need your support.”

If the Reactions Are Hard to Handle

Not everyone will react the way you hope, and that can be painful. If your partner or family members express anger or disappointment, try not to let their initial reaction define the entire conversation. People often need time to process big news, especially if they weren’t expecting it.

If the conversation becomes too stressful, it’s okay to step away and revisit it later. Saying, “I understand this is a lot to take in. I need some time to think, too, so maybe we can talk again later,” can help de-escalate emotions and give everyone space to reflect.

Anderson House Is Here for You

No matter how these conversations unfold, you don’t have to go through this alone. At Anderson House, we offer free lab-quality pregnancy testing, options information, ultrasound referrals, and more to help you feel supported and informed.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, schedule a confidential appointment today. We’re here to provide clarity, resources, and a listening ear as you decide your next steps.